Today I’m writing about something that I’m sure you wouldn’t regularly contemplate on or discuss whether it is good or bad – NOSTALGIA.
Now you see, here is the dilemma. Some people will look at this word with a sense of happiness. They might think that reminiscing is a good thing, and that being nostalgic helps to bring back all those warm and fuzzy memories. Others, though, may sit and feel that being a nostalgic person comes with dangerous outcomes. That reminding yourself of times from the past stops you from looking forward to the future. Thinking it may be something that holds you back from progress.
This is something I have come to terms with as a small, underlying issue but I’m keen to bring it to the surface. If someone asked me to describe myself, I’d begin by stating the obvious: warm, loud, confident-ish (oh so kind you agree!), but I’d also say I’m extremely nostalgic. Previously, when reminiscing about things that made me feel a certain way, replaying those memories over and over again to reinforce those feelings that came with it, I’d find the sense of happiness would soon turn to sadness. Feeling empty, angry at the fact that those particular memories can’t be recreated again.
Let me give you an example, one that you can probably relate to. On chalutz (pioneer, AKA maths camp), during FND ana el naaaa, whilst eating dinner many of us got up and absolutely belted out the lyrics to ‘Ultralight Beam’ by Kanye to each other. Not one person cared about how loud they were being, what faces they were pulling, we all just felt pretty much united. Now that feeling is something you would want to hold on to, right?
From this, we can either look back at it and get upset, thinking that can’t be recreated again! Is it possible for me to feel that good again? Alternatively, you may feel, WOW that was incredible, that made me feel so good inside.
For me, memories I dwell on go much further. I usually dwell on the people that made me different, a better version of myself that sits here typing this today. I think about those pivotal moments, the songs, the way they made me feel, the people who showed them to me, listening to them multiple times a day, and I’d get ridiculously nostalgic at the fact repeatedly thinking about those same things still bring around those exact feelings I felt the first time it was happening. I would spend countless moments feeling sad at the fact we can’t go back or change the way things may have happened.
Sometimes I’d even find myself lying on my bed yearning for those oh so special KD days back, scared at the thought of having to be independent, or even still not accepting the fact that I had turned 21!
But all this energy towards feeling sad got me thinking and writing these feelings down. It’s only recently that I’ve been able to look at the past as something to adore, to love the fact that I am nostalgic. To realise that reminiscing on the past is what pushes me to strive for future positive memories.
Now I get you’ll be reading this and thinking this is possibly the most random thing to talk about, but I guess my message for you guys is to still look at the past, stop, smile and think about how those memories have shaped you into the person you are today!
How can we ever move forward if we don’t accept the past and remember it, good or bad, in order to bring ourselves into the future to create even better and brighter memories?
Just a bit of food for thought.
Many thanks for reading, – Alex Radnor, Bogeret